Saturday, May 19, 2012

Gaining Through Losing

When I was enduring my dads battle with cancer, I literally was lost and didn't know it at the time. I needed help and direction and God had a plan for the both of us. The journey that my dad took me down remains deep  within me daily. I truly got to in vision a piece of my dads journey. Seeing Heaven through my daddy's eyes. The only way to really explain it to anyone is it was if he had one foot in the flesh world and one foot in the spiritual world. He was transitioning to his eternal home. Many in the family thought that my dads mind had been altered due to the illness or the medication. He was absolutely crystal clear in his mind. The agitation was from him not wanting to let go and transition. He loved the Lord with every part of his being. He didn't have to talk about his faith. He lived it!! I remember him sitting on the edge of his bed one night. He was fading physically and the chemo was not doing anything but giving my dad some empty hope to still hang on and fight. He was struggling with what to do. He said, "Honey, I just don't know what to do?" I knew that he was literally torn between 2 worlds. I wanted to be very selfish and tell him to keep fighting for his children and grand children. I knew I could not ask this of my daddy. I told my dad that he would know when the time was right for him to make decisions. I told him I loved him and would always be here for him.

You see, when I lost my dad, I gained his insight that he shared with me along the way. I truly know so much more than I did before our journey together. I got to experience a very small piece of what we have to look forward too. Heaven is real! I seen it through my dad. I remember asking my dad one morning what he was seeing? He teared up and was speechless. He said that he was unable to even get close to explaining what he was experiencing and seeing. He said my mind was not able to conceive it. Almost two years have passed since his passing. I have looked back and know that all we shared was not only for his purpose, but also mine. Not all will ever get to experience this type of insight that I did. When we lose someone we want to believe that they have moved onto Heaven. I don't know why I was the one chosen by my daddy but I know that I needed to be worked on too. God knew that I needed to see what my dad was going through.

 My faith has grown and the Fathers gracious love endures. As I was slowly watching my dad slip away, I would be gaining through this precious mans loss!!! The grace that I observed that the Father poured out on him was nothing short of amazing. I seen my dad transition with such ease and grace. When he finally let go, the Father was laboring him for his spiritual birth into Heaven. I was right there and got to see it with my own eyes. Not many even get close to realizing what is truly going on. A woman will labor the birth of a child. We labor to be born and "some"will labor to die. I was right there when this mans heart was stopping and his spirit left his body. His spirit was being born and leaving for his eternal home!!! I cried tears of joy, yet my selfish flesh part cried because I wanted him to stay a little longer. I knew he was meeting his Lord and Savior. Daddy's crown would be the most beautiful and magnificent. He would be told, "Well done J. Bill you "faithful servant" for I am very pleased! I smiled and thought I will see you soon daddy!! I Love You!

Thank You Father for the courage to share just a piece of this incredible journey!!!

Have a blessed day everyone,

Monday, May 14, 2012

Opportunities and Open Doors..........

With the end of the school year wrapping up to a close, we have been very busy. I had always wondered how other parents did it. It can seem overwhelming to try and keep up with everything. We went on a field trip with my youngest this past week. I love to try and be at everything my kids are involved in but as a nurse working 12 hour night shifts, it is almost impossible to attend everything. Grrrrr! I just hate having to be responsible!! HAH! Wish I had that money tree in the backyard! The coach says, "even if you did have a money tree, you would forget to water it." HAH! He is probably right!

Last week was national nurses week. I am a little late but I want to say thank you to all of my nursing family and what an honor it is to know you, work with you, or have crossed paths with you. I have met so many wonderful people in the line of work that I do. I feel very blessed that I am able to meet a whole array of different people from every walk of life. I will admit that there are times, more often than not, that I wish very different for my life. I start wondering what life would have been up to this point, had I chose something different as my occupation? Then I stop and look around at who and what nurses represent, I quickly realize that God chose this path for me for a reason. No matter what I will eventually end up doing with my life, I will always be a nurse.

 I have a lot of people ask me why I chose to be a nurse? It was something I have always known I was suppose to do. God paved the way and allowed me the opportunity. The door opened wide and it was up to me to walk through it. :) Life is like that! We each have sooooo many opportunities. We are the ones to decide whether we walk through an open door or not. Its called FREE WILL!!! We are given a choice in every situation. This is something our Heavenly Father chose for us. He will never force us into anything. Its our decision. What an awesome loving Father!!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mothers Day yesterday!

Have a blessed day everyone,

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Storms of Life.........

 My husband is the weather man at our house. Always watching  the weather updates and getting everyone rounded up so he knows his family is safe. Early Saturday morning, without warning, the coach and I woke up to a severe thunderstorm. At the time we both thought it was just heavy rain and winds, the weather channel indicated no other concerns. I tried to go back to bed and then heard crashing and pounding sounds hitting the house. I jumped out of bed and nearly tripped running down the hall. Dazed and confused, I realized that "hail" was the sound I was hearing.  After rescuing are family pet corgi dog "Ranger" from his near death experience, I just stood at the front door observing the "base ball size hail"  falling down covering the ground and crashing our vehicles.  I felt defenseless and wanted to cry! Three of our vehicles were severely damaged by this hail storm.

Sometimes we can see the storms coming in our lives and others we have no clue, until they are here and covering us. Life can seem like such a test of storms that we go through. If I had it my way, I could do without the storms in life.  The storms come so we can see the rainbows!!! If life gives you storms, you look for the rainbow!!!  I know that each of our lives are continually being molded into the plans that the Father has for us. Jeremiah 29:11

I think of the Father sitting at his potters table. Daily he is re-molding to make me into what he has for his kingdom. He is so patient and treats me with delicate tender hands. Believe me, I need it because this girl is pretty fragile. Taking a little off here and there and adding such brilliance and design to me as he molds me! We are each unique. Not one of us is the same! Just the let the storms come and know that you are being molded! Going through these storms adds the spiritual maturity needed to get the end result. He wants the dependency on him. He will not ever give you more than you can handle.

Have a Blessed Day to All,

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A gift of choices!!!!

My oldest daughter had her first prom this past weekend. I had such a great time helping her get ready for this grand event. After many attempts at hair dos, we finally mastered the perfect hair style! She looked beautiful and reflecting on the years of her life and how fast it has gone, made me alittle sad, yet excited for her! My other two daughters looked at her with such tender fascination! My youngest said, " You look like a princess!" I smiled and later I thought we are all the Lords little princesses! We are priceless to him. Each with a specific plan and purpose, very special to him.

As her date picked her up and pictures where taken, I became very nervous at her leaving for the entire evening. I felt that I hadn't equipped her with enough words. I  wanted her to be safe. I knew it was time to let her go. I just can't imagine what my parents went through when I was growing up. I can't even begin to imagine what God thinks when we reach accountability in our lives. The choices we make and the consequences to those choices. WOW!! I just realized  that I am not even close to what he probably wants for me, but I keep trying.

I love Palms 139!!! I have gone back to this particular passage so many times that I have lost count!! It is so awesome to think that each of us was specifically thought out and our entire lives written out before we were ever born! The Father has given each of us a awesome gift to accept or not to accept! The choice is totally up to each of us. His son Jesus paid the price so the gift is free!! Contact me through email, I would love to discuss further with anyone wanting more information! :)

 Time means nothing to our Father in Heaven. He is on a very different time table than we are. Our lives are but a moment in time to him, yet the mile stones we journey down seem to take forever. Most wanting everything yesterday and not knowing what waiting means. We are not promised tomorrow, yet so many of take our lives for grant. He is patiently waiting on us to come to him. He has not left, he has always been here. He just waits for you to reach out to him!

Have a blessed day everyone,