My Heavy Cart Full of ROCKS!!!!

Everyone has heard the term, "putting the cart before the horse." This would be me! Tasha has many times, made this evaluation towards the both of us. Wanting to do it all my way attitude, at any cost. About a year and half ago, my cart was full of rocks, and the horse was back at the stable, waiting on me.  I had a lot of stuff I was carrying around with me daily. Refusing to let anyone help me and wanting to deal with every bit of it myself. I was angry, bitter, I didn't like my life situation, and it showed! My cart was over flowing and it had become impossible to push or pull that cart. I decided I had to do something and God started to work on me. I started SLOWLY, getting rid of those rocks one by one. When the cart became easier to handle, I would be trotting along to realize, some of those rocks had mysteriously reappeared! I felt I was constantly dealing with ROCKS!!

I thought I had dealt with those issues, and all the sudden, those issues where back. NO one likes to be angry and bitter. We are all aware of the destruction it can produce in our lives.  The stress it takes on our whole bodies is incredible. I realized that I may have to remove these rocks over and over to truly set them down forever! I also knew that the Lord needed to be guiding that cart of rocks to make it easier on me. I was reminded what the bible tells us in James 1:19-20 "My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God's sight."

My teenagers and I had to take a road trip for doctors visits. As they were talking and me listening, I began to see clearly, that they have ROCKS too. Holding onto to anger is not good for them and it makes the situation feel out of control for them.  We have a lot of "girl drama" at our house, I am learning to be a better "listener" with my kids. Even when I think they are not listening to me, they can quote every word I said to them 2 weeks ago flying out of the house for school. I've told them about my cart, my rocks, and how I am constantly having to take them out of the cart.  Let's get the ROCKS out of the cart girls!!!!! We may have to do this over and over but eventually it will get easier or its dealt with. But more importantly, having your Heavenly Father guide that cart is so much easier than trying to do it yourself.

Have a blessed day, Anita

Frustration and Staying Positive through GRACE!!!!

My heart just hurts watching my 16 year old daughter's frustration. Tearing her ACL in her right knee over a week ago, awaiting appointments, surgery and healing has been a struggle for her. She is a perfectionist and does not do well with change. I see her impatience. We all seem to want things "yesterday," and having to wait for anything can test us beyond what we think we are made of. God's mercy is perfect and unfailing! My mother used to tell me as a teenager, "Anita, God does not ever put anymore on your shoulders than he feels that you can handle." There are many times when I pray and ask God to exchange my frustration and replace it with an attribute he wants me to exhibit in my thoughts and mood. I stop, ask, and WAIT!
His timing is always perfect. God's mercy and tenderness falls down on us like a sweet gentle rain. I find myself feeling so frustrated for my daughter but know that with all things, God works it for his good and purpose. We may not understand the whys or the reason but we are being taught and molded along the way. To express this to my teenage daughter has been difficult, at times. They see things in the here and now. She considers this to be a tragedy in her life, I on the other hand see it is a disappointment but also am thankful and blessed. It could always be so much worse.

I watch her little sisters and how they have become patient, understanding and wanting to help her with everything. This irritates her and she gets very frustrated with having to depend on others for her daily needs. Her crutches have limited her somewhat in her ability to do some of the smallest things. This is real and it is Dependency!!! It is only for a time, a season, and with time, patience and hard work she will recover! I smile to myself. I still have not quite convinced her. :)

The lesson for all this:
Depending on God for every need! Letting him lead your life and depending on him to provide every need and want is surrendering to him. I am learning this daily in my own life. I want to try and fix things myself. Oh, boy can he do such a better job than I ever could. I have told my children that with any frustration they go through that " God loves you and wants to hear your frustrations. He loves you more than I could ever love you! Pray about it and let him comfort you." Sometimes I get those looks, "the rolling of the eyes and deep sighs." Other times they look at me in wonder and curiosity. I tell them TRY IT and see what happens! :)

Have a blessed day, Anita