My Heavy Cart Full of ROCKS!!!!

Everyone has heard the term, "putting the cart before the horse." This would be me! Tasha has many times, made this evaluation towards the both of us. Wanting to do it all my way attitude, at any cost. About a year and half ago, my cart was full of rocks, and the horse was back at the stable, waiting on me.  I had a lot of stuff I was carrying around with me daily. Refusing to let anyone help me and wanting to deal with every bit of it myself. I was angry, bitter, I didn't like my life situation, and it showed! My cart was over flowing and it had become impossible to push or pull that cart. I decided I had to do something and God started to work on me. I started SLOWLY, getting rid of those rocks one by one. When the cart became easier to handle, I would be trotting along to realize, some of those rocks had mysteriously reappeared! I felt I was constantly dealing with ROCKS!!

I thought I had dealt with those issues, and all the sudden, those issues where back. NO one likes to be angry and bitter. We are all aware of the destruction it can produce in our lives.  The stress it takes on our whole bodies is incredible. I realized that I may have to remove these rocks over and over to truly set them down forever! I also knew that the Lord needed to be guiding that cart of rocks to make it easier on me. I was reminded what the bible tells us in James 1:19-20 "My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God's sight."

My teenagers and I had to take a road trip for doctors visits. As they were talking and me listening, I began to see clearly, that they have ROCKS too. Holding onto to anger is not good for them and it makes the situation feel out of control for them.  We have a lot of "girl drama" at our house, I am learning to be a better "listener" with my kids. Even when I think they are not listening to me, they can quote every word I said to them 2 weeks ago flying out of the house for school. I've told them about my cart, my rocks, and how I am constantly having to take them out of the cart.  Let's get the ROCKS out of the cart girls!!!!! We may have to do this over and over but eventually it will get easier or its dealt with. But more importantly, having your Heavenly Father guide that cart is so much easier than trying to do it yourself.

Have a blessed day, Anita

I'm struggling this morning with my attitude toward people.  My oldest son and husband had a recent run-in with an assistant staff member at my sons' elementary school in the drop off line.  This woman yelled at our son for not getting out of the vehicle fast enough and essentially holding up the line.  Now, as you can imagine there is more to the story.  First of all, it was raining outside so my husband pulled forward to allow our son to be closer to the door.  Second of all, the bus that was pulled into the same area was blocking any cars from advancing through the line anyway, so if there was a hold up it was not our sons' fault.  And finally, I'm convinced this woman has major control issues.  My husband was so angry with this woman that I am very surprised he did not confront her right then.  It was probably a good thing that he still had to drop off our youngest child at school and didn't have time to stop.  He came home visibly upset and angry at this woman for her actions and words toward our son.  This in turn got me very upset at the same woman.  My husband did contact the school and work toward a resolution of the problem so, he did follow through once he cooled off. 

Now every morning when I drop off our son at school and see this woman, all I can think about is how poorly she treated him.  I am having a terrible time with forgiveness in this situation and I didn't even witness the event!  I feel myself getting angry with this woman every time I see her standing there, and I know that I have a very stern look on my face as I pull through the line.  In fact, I can feel myself getting angry as I write this post.  Every day as I pull out of the drop off line I ask God to forgive my thoughts of ill will toward this woman.  I know how wrong it is for me to feel this way and I am trying hard to get past it.  I guess it's just the mother side of me wanting to protect my children from anything even remotely negative in their lives.  I am starting to understand that as they get older they will face more and more situations with people that can have negative effects.  I am going to pray for this woman and myself and I have faith that God will answer my prayer and I will get past the negative feelings that I have toward her.  It's just a reminder of how human we truly are.

Blessings to all,
Latasha

"But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."  Mark 11:26